Star Lanterns for Dreamers

Last December 14, I facilitated two art making activities for 100 streetchildren. Together with the Diwatas (Goddesses/Fairies) of GINHAWA (Growth in Wholeness and Wellness Associates), we crafted an afternoon themed as "Parol ng Pangarap" (Star Lantern of Dreams) for them. The activity was designed for De La Salle College of St. Benilde as they launch their mentorship program with streetchildren and out of school youths in partnership with their Social Action office.

My good friend Weena who organized the event asked me to do a mandala with the children. I reflected on it and figured the best way to theme a mandala for Christmas season would be the traditional Filipino Parol.

The Parol


Inspired by the Mexican pinata and the Chinese Lantern - both influences from pre-colonial and colonial trade exchanges, the Parol is uniquely Filipino in a sense it draws spirituality (both Christianized yet indigenous-ly still at heart for the stars have been giving guidance to the ancients), craftsmanship, and the evolving creative genius together by weaving in the pentagram, a star as the main theme, with indigenous materials - bamboo, paper, fiber etc with unique petal, leaf, and other geometric designs with light.

Every Christmas season, you will see all these beautifully designed star lanterns in each home (almost all homes will have a parol on the window!) and all the streets of the cities around the country. It has become the Filipino "christmas tree." In our case, it is the star of Bethlehem which the Magis saw during Jesus' birth that is at the core of the Christmas tradition.  It also symbolizes the Filipinos' resilience and hope-filled culture - shining light over dark times.

The traditional parol (image from google images)

The modern parol with electric lights (image from clickthecity.com)

The Pentagram as Mandala

At the start we planned to have custom made star shaped bamboo frames for children to design around but it turned out very tasking to prepare 100 frames in a few days. So we opted for a cheap yet beautiful medium - Origami stars. In the middle we used parchment paper as a circle for children to draw their dreams on so lights would shine through either through some neon colored sticks or the sunshine through a window.

Child Testing the artwork with Lorenzo, here using the neon light sticks. We decided to take out the light sticks after for safety reasons. 

The whole afternoon's activities were designed to connect to the theme of dreaming and hope. The children from the streets are also orphans, out of school children, with some who have been sexually abused in the past. Staying in several partner centers and facilities, these children are already being taken off the streets and given proper care and assistance.

Inside my head, I play around with styles for designing mandalas. Everytime I design a workshop, I either go Jungian/Expressive or Geometric/Meditative or a mix of both. For this case, because of the workshop design of expressing hope, I decided to focus more on dreams in the middle of the circle. The children were encouraged to make designs and patterns on the pentacles of the mandala star.

 
The Star Guides the Dreamers

A story and theater play written by Leah Tolentino, Executive Diwata of GINHAWA was a beautiufl weave for the entire afternoon. We acted out the story through lights, projected images, and indigenous music for effect.

Inang Tala (Mother Star), played by Mini, wished to help a child forced to leave home and sleep on the streets because of poverty. Alas because she was so far away, she couldn't be heard by the child who lives in the nosiy and polluted streets of Manila. Asking the guidance of her Creator, she was advised that the only way to reach earth and to help others is to break up into pieces because she is very big and hot for the earth and its beings. And so she did break into pieces out of deep contemplation and compassion for the child. She then became all the many stars we have in the sky.

Are these the alignment of planets? (gives me the shivers)

To prepare the children for drawing, and to connect them to a creation experience, i asked the children to do a non-dominant hand play of colored crayons which they covered with black crayon afterwards for a transformative darkness creation with their pencils. It was only prior to facilitating this activity that I realized they were also drawing the cosmos from within them so I showed them pictures of beautiful nebulas and galacitcal formations taken from the Hubble Telescope. This also connects them to the story of Inang Tala.

The following photos show how the workshop transpired. Step by step we started with a visioning reflection of the meaning of hope and how dreams can be achieved if they believe. Aftewards, we drew dreams on the circular parchment paper so that it can be a transparent suncatcher during the day sans the use of lightsticks for light effect. The last steps were to design patterns on the pentacles and because they were so creative and wanted to play with designs and colors, I did not ask them to do symmetrical patterns which is the usual way mandala making is taught.

Most of the dreams from these children were houses. It tells much of their experiences growing up in the streets

He wants to be a musician

He wants to be a seaman

To close the workshop, we paraded around the college premises which Jonel our volunteer and I led with a jembe drum as we follow Inang Tala around as she asks classroom after classroom to give attention and honor to the dreams of these children.

When we got back to the activity center, we made a mandalic installation with a song by Gary Granada as part of a ritual of commitment from the volunteer mentors (students, staff, etc.) and shelter coordinators in helping foster love and literacy for these children. 

Inang Tala Mini leads the parade around the school

The streetchildren are proud of their dreams

Dreams like a litter of starfish out on the seashore

A mandalic installation to cap off!

click here for more photos !

Tapping the Creative Life Force for the New Year

*I dedicate this post to all the Babaylan angels who have guided me on my healing journey last year

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I closed 2010 with a meditative sunset experience on top of a retreat center in Antipolo where I was asked to document stories and rituals and facilitate art activities during an interfaith peace camp. As I was hiking up the hill in a hurry not to get caught in the dark forest on the way up, I saw the sun setting and realized it was the last sun of the year. Immediately, I left my backpack of fresh new clothes from the city on the ground and walked toward a tree with an awesome view of a cloud formation in the sky that gathered a large circle of light. It was a beautiful experience to see the horizon in orange and red as it blanketed above the urban landscape. Moved by the experience of saying goodbye to my challenging healing year, I just felt I needed to sing to the sun. I offered a spirit song to the sun for having graced me and all with life. It was a good year of healing and love.

That evening, I was spending a great time with the young Filipino and European peace campers singing and playing games for the year ender when I still felt the urge to have space and continue singing. Sneaking out, I went back to the sunset tree and this time sang to the moon, sang with all the fireworks from the city that could never reach the sky. I felt nostaligic saying goodbye to my roller coaster year. While singing, I felt there was something stirring inside me that was not just my own doing. There was this strong weaving experience flowing some hums and hymns with my breath. I knew I was not alone.

This deep connection continued as I took part in a private Talaandig ritual with the young indigenous tribe peace campers while the rest of the youth and the staff headed up the roofdeck to watch the city fireworks at the strike of midnight. The ritual started at 11:45 pm and ended at past 12 to bridge the old year and the new year. I was honored to witness the mandalic offering of betel nuts wrapped in leaves and special paste to Apo Magbabaya (God of the Talaandigs) and the partaking of it afterwards along with voicing out intentions for the year to let Apo and the spirits help manifest them.

The next day, the first day of the year 2011, I spent the day on my own in silence. I decided to make my own ritual. Awake with bright eyes, I was ready to take on the day with a pack of 7 colored candles along with my "vision board" flipbook, art materials, and a good playlist on my mp3 player. It was not long until I disappeared into the beautiful landscaped meditation areas around the retreat center.

I found a bonfire pit where I layed out a simple mandala of flowers and leaves and lighted my rainbow candles around for my intentions (purple for spirit, pink for love, blue for peace, green for money, red for health, yellow for intelligence, and orange for career). I did this meditation and visioning ritual on 11:11 am, 1:11 pm, and 3:33 pm to connect to the good energies of these sacred timings. Oh yes, I also sang with the trees. There again, I felt the moving force of the spirits flowing through me.

Later in the day I did a fruit fast and made a mandala for my new year. It was inspired by my intentions to deepen my understanding and practice of indigenous wisdom and sacred art forms (represented by the local symbols and patterns), to heal and love myself and someone consciously and deeply (the flowers and the open heart and hands), and to polish plans for my backpacking art journey around the world (represented by the four eyes and the directions (North, East, West, South) and four elements (Air, Water, Fire, Earth) of the Earth.)

There was so much beautiful energy in making my intentions for the year that this carried on over the next few days together with the beautiful experiences of interfaith and indigenous rituals and storytelling that took place during the peace camp. Something really opened within me. It was as if I was ready to "to break open or openly break" (a favorite line from a favorite poem entitled This is a Diamond by Em Claire). I started doing my own inner dance meditations at the hidden bamboo groves during workshop breaks and I continued watching the sunsets and the evening stars in my solitude.  I believe something greater was at work. It was as if I felt I was my future granddaughter watching myself as I saw my shadow dancing among the smooth rocks around the trees.After about 30 minutes into dancing, I sat down and gave myself a good cry.

As if it was divine timing, I joined the young people with a beautiful Sufi song and dance to close the weeklong camp on January 5. After having a sunset conversation over the phone with my love Russ at the balcony, I had a conversation about living and learning indigenous wisdom with the Talaandigs in Bukidnon with Bae Liza, a woman elder from the Talaandig tribe. It was beautiful watching the sun setting with her in her full traditional garb. The sun and the moon met as I left the retreat center braving the dark forest to send off a surprise gift to Russ at the bus station. I was a little sad I couldn't make it to Sagada on time for his birthday the next day because of practical things. I also honored where I was on my own sacred journey as a woman, an artist, a healer, and a teacher in the making. I am grateful that we have space for each other for these important matters.

I am now writing here in my room at Bahay GINHAWA, a non profit promoting creative and spiritual transformative therapies and workshops, where I have settled as a transient and some sort of resident artist on January 1 last year to undergo healing and transition from unprocessed trauma. Now a year has passed and I can say I am an entirely different woman in some way or another. I am still in that sacred mode from the new year as I continue to do deep meditation, dancing and fruit fasting. I can truly say I have been blessed with the Babaylan spirits and angels that have given me guidance, sacred art, space and opportunities to channel, share, and most of all learn about my evolving purpose on earth.

I look forward to more life enriching experiences this year!

Mandalas and the Magic of Co-Creation

 

This is a beautiful image of co-creation. 

It is a beautiful symbol of healing and loving - for oneself and the other 

and the magic that flows through

 Two Mandalas. Two Beings. East and West

that form a Mandorla in the middle that unites as One.

(May 2010)

I have so many year end reflections to share most especially from this international peace camp I am at right now. But I don't want to end this beautiful year without sharing this co-creative experience with my beautiful artist colleague, friend, and love Russell. I just spent a beautiful Christmas with him and feel so inspired to share this.

You see,  I am still on a journey as a wounded healer and artist. After ending a life changing experience with a traumatic relationship last year, I thought to myself, maybe I should really be a monk this year and not see anyone. I have never intended to open myself up with somebody again. 

But some glitch in the fabric of time placed a unique gem as a gift across my path. This Jedi was thrown off course from his journey to this island where I have been trying to live peacefully on my own and lo he happens to be an admirably beautiful person bringing the world to oneness, someone working with mandalas just like I do, and someone learning the process of loving oneself and loving another like I do too.

We met mandalically through the 1Mandala Project when I responded to his open invitation to the world to co-create. It was uncanny to meet him personally while he was on vacation here with his previous lover as he has never planned to come all this way from Europe while on his cycling journey. Personally meeting him during a mandala workshop and a dance with a big interfaith community here was a nice way of crossing paths.Who knew what would happen then?

Since I was going through healing and he was still with a lover then when I met him 8 months ago, I didn't want to involve myself. But we all know we can only open up to love no matter the resistance for this is part of our nature. We are born out of love and we journey through this earth rediscovering this most beautiful word.

Yes too, perhaps as an artist, I have a natural curiosity to experience everything.  Given the serendipitous synchronicity that we share, we consciously started out as friends. We listened deeply to each other's wounds, to our healing process, to our dreams and fears. Oh my God, our dreams and fears! Opening up to him was really really scary. For the past few months, we cultivated a deep friendship that is conscious of our coping patterns - how we dealt with ourselves, with our relationships with others, and how we dealt with each other.I realized men have a lot of emotional struggles too. They are vulnerable just like women.

Sagada! (June 2010)

And then there were the cultural differences to go through - language, culture, even ways of being. (this is a long story! so maybe I can talk about this sometime in the future :-))

And yes, going back to my own healing process. Having real and honest communication with him was so important. I value that so much. I learned about being able to speak up too about my fears and needs. He says he is healing from this process too. And we give each other space when needed. We listen deeply. These are important. We are learning to respect each other's journey and to be happy to walk alone or together.

Most importantly, as a seeker on a spiritual path, I am conscious of cultivating my spirit as I grow and learn from this special affinity. I mean, I can totally choose to live in peace alone if I decide to do that. But again, we all evolve through our interaction with the people we are most intimate  with.

I am learning about how my own attunement to myself helps me in co-creating with another, especially if it involves more of my heart and my soul. . 

I believe though, healing or already healed, enlightening or enlightened - we all don't get to attune all the time. I believe that this process of aligning within requires mindful and conscious being and becoming. Many times I catch myself unconsciously interacting with my wounds and fears and I end up not communicating well and act out of attachment or fear of losing the other. And when I catch myself, I remind myself to honor this; that it is ok, and I flow until I reach a point of equanimity. It is ok to be vulnerable and afraid to love for this opens us up to the life changing experience of transformation. This opens us up to evolution. But important here is to be wise and aware when I know when it is not safe, when I know I am repeating a pattern, when I know I will not grow from it.

I then consciously pick up from the state of disconnect and connect back to the moment of being with myself. Being fully present with myself - my body, my emotions, my spirit. Having someone support that and hold your hand as you go through it is healing. In the end, we cannot heal alone. This process eventually opens me up to the joyous experience of co-creating, to the beautiful experience of now.

There's so much to say. I am learning too what I want in someone to walk with. There's really no certainty what happens next. It could be a continuous walk, it could be a parting of ways. This is a uniquely beautiful journey of the unknown. I am learning. This is life! This is the journey!

For now, just for now, I am just grateful for our beautiful co-creative artistic energies together. It has sure been a crazy beautiful year with my Oneness Jedi.

Love is a gift.

We are all love, lover, beloved.

*** Russ and I have worked on mandalas together with others these past few months.We have an upcoming project working on a Oneness Social Action for the 1Mandala project. We will be facilitating a mandala making activity and movie with teachers and students of the Guinaang Elementary School in the Mountain Province. This is supported by a globally orchestrated library development and enrichment for the school. Check it out through this link - www.1mandala.org/1Actions

In Between, My Love

In between the fluttering
the sound
of pigeon wings and wind
I awake you from slumber
blinking
sunshine and shadow
playing white lighted
window and sheets

As the wind feathers your feet
it speaks gently,
"You are held"

In between your dreaming mind
and the softness of your bed
You say goodbye for now
to your sailboat at sea.

You tuck yourself under the stars
where I am ready to give you
a bridge to your beloved
(where I am present)
in all of your worlds.

As the sun lifts the curtain
Your eyes open to understand
"This is love"


I am not a poet really but sometimes words speak in my head waiting to be written and shared. This poem is inspired by waking up one morning realizing the beautiful experience of having pigeons fluttering on my window everyday and how its nice waking up to the idea of having the Beloved hold  me. That's a beautiful mandala flower drawing with the sun by one of my students last summer :-)

chalk mandala!

Months ago my little friends from the neighborhood gave me on two instances, spiral surprises outside my gate with my name on it and it truly warmed my heart as I was also going through sadness at that time.

Inspired by their work, i co-created a beautiful mandala with them last september using chalk pastels (which are excellent medium by the way) but the rain poured down just as I was about to take a photo! it was truly a beautiful colorful flower mandala.


since then every time i go out of the gate, the kids would ask me when we're ever going to work on another one. and months passed by as i have been very busy.


but today, i promised i'd make one with them in the afternoon. so they waited and waited all day peeping through my gate asking for my attention as I was doing my morning pages, then my lunch in the garden. 
Until finally I told them I'm about to go out....


they surprised me with rose petals that they showered all over me!  

and with colored and white chalk, we worked our way to create a fantastic mandala with stars and hearts :-)

and we had a caterpillar that snuck in my pants and a rooster visit us as we were working :-)
check out more photos on my picasa photo album

:-) 

do we make art or does art make us?

visual journaling 2005

 

Mastering a skill is a journey and a beautiful process of learning. And wow it is full of surprises too.

Last Saturday, I was invited to facilitate an art workshop with Children International with very little time to prepare a module as I was also cramming for a peace campaign with a series of public events with only two eyes, two hands, one brain, and a 3 year old laptop about to fall apart. And well, the organizer and I also only had a chance to get in touch the day before the workshop.


The night before, I was still totally unprepared, half knowing and trusting I would eventually know as we go along. I only knew that these were young adults 12 to 18 years old who are the best artists from their class and that I was supposed to help them enhance their artistic skills in preparation for an art competition.

But...
How do you teach art to those who already know how to do art?



But then again, who knows exactly how one does art anyway?


Do we make art or does art make us?

My recent experience revealed this primal streak about art making..

So at first I thought, I should prepare a slide show of paintings by local and international master artists to give them an idea of the many ways we can express and perceive reality through visual art.


Then I hesitated.

It would be so wrong to give them a fixed idea of what "art" is. . I should know because I was brought up learning art this way - that if you can copy reality, you are a master artist. I should know because I worked at a museum for 3 years and co-designed studio art workshops (drawing, painting, etc.) with artist facilitators. I should know after heading an art organization of the university art gallery, that if you can be audacious and avante garde, or that if you can pretend something is not obvious but really obvious, then it is what is considered art.

Of course, these are all art.I am always trying to be conscious of not hating western art and museums. The long history of how art has evolved from its place in the daily lives of people into a museum has its own beauty and creativity to honor.But I guess this is not the way I see art now; or rather now how art is just supposed to be. I would rather think that we also need to remember and validate the need of experiencing art and creativity from the inner depths of our consciousness and our immediate understanding of being in the world around us.


Maybe it was the school system, maybe popular culture, maybe it was the museums, maybe the unaware parents who sent children to art workshops to tide them over during vacation, maybe it is a growing culture of enchantment with too much lights, skin, and glamour up on the billboards on the streets. I don't know.



These young people were good. They knew how to represent nature well through symbols, characters, designs, etc. It seemed they did not need me.

For a moment while introducing myself, I suddenly remembered when I was 16. As the class artist, I was asked by my classmates to join an on the spot drawing competition. Right in the middle of the event, I stopped and decided not to pursue the competition for two main reasons. First I felt embarrassed because I saw that all the others were drawing the usual styles of student competitions - from abstract to realistic, to representation, etc.and it made me feel I should make the same kind of pieces. I actually felt that my style which I was still learning to discover might not fit with what the themed competition wanted. Second, I just didn't feel right about doing art to compete and to create impromptu art on a time limit. Hmmmm...in hindsight now, I realized I just made an impromptu art piece by not doing art. Haha.



What does a teacher teach if not his/her own life experience? 

I have learned a lot about how I was taught and saw it as an important intention to facilitate art the way I wanted to experience and learn art and my creative potential.


Because I am on an integral path in my life work, I make sure I emphasize the head, heart, and hands in module writing.  I engaged them through a discussion in understanding how we embody our visions and imagination by feeling them and actually make them, mold them, write them, draw them, sing them, and dance them.


Then we needed to get back to basics by exploring how we define things for this shapes how we create. What is art? What is creativity? We rooted back to creativity rooting back to the word creation which roots back to the word creator. And because there is a higher creator that created all including ourselves, we consider ourselves as co-creators.

a co-created mandala in mediation with children of bantayan island (April 2010)

Because it was environmentally themed, I wanted to reconnect them to the idea of art as creation and art found in all of nature - most especially within us. I asked them why indigenous peoples do not have a word for art or the environment.

I got a shocking answer: "Because they did not learn from the school."

As urbanites in a really poor community (a very far place off the main city) they have not probably glimpsed or experienced endless mountain ranges in the horizon nor a velvet night sky heavily beaded with stars. One girl eventually pointed out that it was because the indigenous peoples never felt separate from the environment that they had no word for it. I was just so happy she knew. I only learned this profound realization as a 23 year old! I told them even in art making, the original cultures created art for everyday life. I emphasized that true artists have deep connection with everything and never see things as separate from oneself, the artmaking process, and the artwork itself. 

quick, rough sketching of the ivory saints collection of Ayala Museum

What is an art workshop without art exercises?


I made sure we addressed the abovementioned fundamentals of being an artist before we ran through the basic elements of art to check if they were familiar with these. Since it was an art workshop to enhance skills in visual art, I ran through several drawing techniques such as the viewfinder grid style, developing perspectives, etc.


And then when I let that all go, all the magic came about.


It brought me shivers and great insight and gratitude that I was being guided as I connected the lessons together with life.After each 5-15 minute exercise, I did a feelings check and an exploration on what important life lessons these exercises revealed. We had very interesting insights from each activity.

• Non-dominant hand drawing play: 
• Unlearning is important in expanding ones mind and fertilizing imagination 
• That there are no rules in art making. The more we play, the more we create beautifully
• It is important to feel and express feelings in art making.. The artwork must invoke feelings too.
• As we play we realize there are many ways of seeing reality and this helps in creative problem solving.

• Using the Tonal Value scale (they told me they have not used this in school before)
• That there are many levels to things and not everything is black and white.

• Drawing one's hand from the right side of the brain using the non-dominant hand without looking but tracing the outline of the hand with the eye
• Art making requires self discipline 
• The artwork is also the process of art making itself 
• One of the students said that the artwork was ugly which led me to ask them how do they define beauty? There were several answers from which we realized that there are different contexts and perspectives in measuring beauty. One answer that struck me was how something that holds meaning to oneself is beautiful 
• Practicing this exercise everyday will help them master drawing naturally without thinking. 

• Exploring negative space drawing (This realization brought me shivers)
• That the true artist can make the invisible visible 
• Everything is connected - like energy fields among the spaces between things.
• The true artist is connected with his/her spirit.

• Symbol making through a mandala
• An artist uses symbols to represent meaning and reality 
• A symbol is powerful for it not only expresses meaning but invokes feelings and memory
• A mandala shows the connection of the self with others and the world around us just as an artists reconnects us to these levels of existence.

In closing the activity, I shared with them important insights based on spiritual art practices. I shared that visual journaling to document memories and intentions visually aids affirmations as it already manifests a big percentage of a a wish or intention. Being an artist is powerful.


We closed with a breathing prayer with reflections on gratitude and the intention of being genuine artists. A true artist grounds and connects with the spirit. The more we can master and be aware of our breath, the clearer we see and the more vivid we can communicate with our art.


Indeed it was a truly beautiful morning allowing myself to surrender to all these guidance. I mean, it wasn't a burning bush or automatic hand drawing but all these insights and exercises just synchronized itself organically as the exercises took place - the words I spoke, the insights revealed by the students just magically wove together.

As I continue to learn and allow, more and more I deepen my belief in the beautiful guidance that takes place only if we allow ourselves to empty and to surrender to the sacred process of how things manifest. If our intention is pure, then we channel clearly. This is an ongoing journey. I am learning with these young people. I am grateful to bear witness to this, how the universe is displaying its grand power in front of my eyes, or rather through us all. I am grateful.

trusting the invisible weave

This blog is dedicated to 

the ongoing journey of 

becoming a genuine channel on 

the artistic path.

a labyrinth for inner peace for interfaith grassroots leaders in mindanao

These past few days involved a lot of contemplating about the next phase of my life-work. After having my job for a peace ngo placed on hold because of a grant delay, I had lots of free time (despite being broke) to well, think and think and think. I was in a way able to plot out my intention for the backpacking art project.

Oh make that plural--- INTENTIONS!
as all these art ideas are so embedded within so many levels of my life!

Deep breath!

I just finished an interfaith youth camp with young Muslim, Christian, and Indigenous leaders from all over the Philippines. The 3 day facilitator's training workshop was conducted by Binhi ng Kapayapaan Inc. (Seeds of Peace). I had such a wonderful time as an observer, documenter, and a participant as I also learn about their modules in preparation for their international youth camp in December where I was invited to facilitate some art activities in some rituals and reflections.


An oracle or a divination of angel messages along with Christian, Buddhist, Sufi, and Indigenous songs and dances that were part of the activities just really connected me deeply to the the intentions of my upcoming project. The in between breaks sing alongs with the young people, the artmaking processes during the workshops and the deep conversations about peace with the young leaders just truly inspired me to pursue this further.


The truth is, I am writing this as I figure out where I'm going to get my money for rent and my bills this month since there is no certainty if the project that got on hold will push through. I have a short term job that doesn't pay much but it is so meaningful. I get to help design a campaign and run activities for the public for the Mindanao Week of Peace. The Mindanao Week of Peace is an annual event that recognizes and reminds people about the conflict in Mindanao where Christians, Muslims, and Lumads (indigenous) have been trying to live in peace together for many decades despite land and political conflicts and the need for self determination. I am also preparing to head an interactive online magazine that will feature peace stories about Mindanao.I have a bit of hope since a funder is interested but this might take a lot of time to process. But all these are still in the air.

I'm writing this because I want to put out this intention to the world. I want to work for peace and the environment but I really really really want to do my art. I am again feeling this love - hate relationship with my work especially because I'm afraid again that it cannot involve my creative process.

Let me be clear on this first. I love interfaith dialogue. I have been doing this for 3 years now and still am passionate about it. I love doing communication for development.and helping causes communicate their most important messages through campaigns and promotional materials for the past 5 years. I love working on environmental education and advocating renewable energy, organic farming, biodiversity conservation, etc. Heck I have been doing coastal clean ups since I was 16 and sailing with Greenpeace when I was 23 just turned my life around!

I love art too. I am passionately in love with it. I love the way it bridges people with that invisible weave even if we are of different histories, culture, races, languages, religion, and worldviews. I love that it heals from within, how it empowers, unites, affirms, and reconnects us to the sacred, to the source of all things. I have been doing art since like forever. 
 
So who wins? No one wins for this is not a competition. I want to do art for my own personal transformation and for causes I believe in. I have been experimenting this for 7 years now - doing volunteer work as an art teacher, facilitator, collaborator and it has given me a window to the depth and wisdom of becoming a culture bearer, a sacred artist, and a healer.


So let me talk about this upcoming journey that took 2 years to plan. It took awhile for me to express this in words as I have been growing tired of words and thinking for the past 9 months doing lots major project management work for peace.Sometimes I'm afraid that I might be developing dyslexia and ADD because of the lack of creative, right brain process. I can be a total technocrat when it comes to development work if required but it can only last for long if it is imbalanced without my art.


The intention is that for the next few months, I would be learning the indigenous wisdom and art from my own country/ethnicity side by side with a new mandala painting and drawing series inspired by different traditions. 

Having been brought up with so much western art training, I used to look down on traditional art on how it is monotonous with repetition, its bland use of colors, and its seemingly restrained way of expression. My only relevant interest before was more academic in nature. I appreciated my Visual Anthropology and documentary film making class so much that I applied for a minor degree in Cultural Heritage which I didn't eventually complete with a thesis because of the heavy workload prior to graduation. The only cultural experience I truly appreciated as a university student was the night long epic chanting of elders from indigenous tribes that I was required to attend for a class.

But now all this has changed. After leaving work doing art education at a prestigious museum, my journey brought me to work on environmental education. This has then led me to learn about how the indigenous cultures have no word for environment or art for these are embedded to their way of life. And now with interfaith dialogue work, my cosmology is now becoming part of a big weave intertwined in one fabric wrapped around the history and destiny of humankind.

I have been learning how the word kapwa, or shared self/oneness, according to musical anthropologist Felipe de Leon, is integral to our psychology wherein we have this psychic unity with everything - animals, plants, the earth, the rest of humanity and how this is at the core of our inner self  (ubod ng kalooban). He says, that the deeper meaning of kapwa is shared divinity.

The emphasis of the creative process, the participatory engagement of others beyond the self are qualities of many sacred and indigenous art forms. With kapwa comes the continuity of consciousness that permeates beyond the physical that manifests in many of our art and cultural forms. You can experience it in the pitching melismatic slides called hagod in our everyday language and songs; with the drone of drums and instruments in many of the rituals that elevate the brainwaves to the theta level. The dreamweavers like the T'boli of Mindanao entrust their unique design to their dreams. To many of the indigenous art forms of the world, art is a medium to connect to the divine.


As I was learning this, I felt that if I wanted to deepen my artistic process I need to dig deeper to connect to this higher realm of creativity and art.


The Artistic Journey

For the next few months, I am intending to deepen my understanding of the Baybayin, the ancient script, to study pottery and weaving up in the Cordilleras, to learn soil painting with the Talaandigs of the south, learn the okir design of the Muslim Maranaos, the banig weave of the Visayas, or whichever the gods and spirits allow the elders to teach my heart and hands.

a collaborative mandala installation with interfaith youth from mindanao, south east asia and the pacific

Afterwards, I embark on a backpacking journey around Asia  hoping to stay with and work with grassroots interfaith communities of the United Religions Initiative and some friends I have worked with under the UNEP Eco Peace Leadership program who are working for environmental protection and conservation.

Because I have always been inspired by sacred circles - the mandala, labyrinth, Islamic geometric patterns, dreamcatchers, etc, the intention is to learn and share from local artists and wisdom holders about their sacred art forms including their mythologies, cosmology, and faith values in developing a module for interfaith dialogue, ecological healing, and perhaps maybe help develop a social enterprise initiative.

Along the way, I'd also like to continue my training and apply my knowledge and practice with transformative arts and work on arts relief with children who are affected by poverty, conflict, and environmental disasters as an Artist on Call with Buildabridge International. I feel this can be a project I can do with the 1Mandala, a global art project that inspires people around the world to co-create mandala builds and installations out of submitted portraits of oneness. As core team member, I am currently helping develop its social arm through arts relief and other means of support.


Perhaps to have more impact, I can share some of my skills in project management, social media, campaign work, and ICT for peace if needed by the communities so we can bridge their work to the rest of the world.

Another dream is to live in conscious communities who are doing sustainable farming and permaculture so I can learn how to nourish myself and the earth with a conscious lifestyle and share this learning to others I meet along the way.

Oh, so many dreams right? I feel the time of the earth is shifting and my role in it is still emerging as I take one moment at a time to manifest my unfolding through my dreams. I know and have faith this will be a beautiful journey of rediscovering myself, my capacities, as I discover new places, experience the earth through the people, beliefs, art, and the vast expanse of natural wonders I will encounter. I am grateful that I have the chance to live this life and this journey. I hope I can be worthy of these gifts that I am given and be able to share them to others. I am trusting this invisible weave that connects my spirit to the source, to all of us, to the earth, to the consciousness and spirits of all that exists visible or non visible. I intend this now as I learn to surrender with great faith to the Creator, the universe, to the spirits that can help this intention  manifest.

Bathalanawa!