I can paint other things, but my spirit is set on painting myself now. Perhaps there's this affirming conscious vanity that artists undertake in making a self-portrait. Perhaps there this healing transformation that takes place as one affirms one's existence by making a mark on the canvas.
I have doodled on self portraits in my journal and I've played around with photoshop with my picture before but I've never done a painting of myself.
(playing around with a picture of a beautiful nebula with Photoshop (2004))
(a doodled self portrait on my journal in 2005)
(playing around with the web cam one inspired morning playing with the sun behind me :-) with neil young and the buddha in the background (2007))
Now is the time for it. The universe is calling.
Doing a self-portrait is not easy. You go through lots of sh*t like self hate, self doubt, and just pure, in the core melancholy.
But there's this beautiful part of self-reflection in painting your portrait. I start affirming the beauty in myself, the dreams I am made up of, and the future self that I wish to project and manifest through my painting. Just like many motivational seminars and books say, a vision board with images of the future that you want will help manifest your dreams and aspirations.
In my journey through art, visioning is a very powerful way of healing and alchemy. There is this bridge I create with my art between my inner and outer self; my fears and my loves; my weaknesses and my strengths; my spirit and my body; my true self and my acquired self; my past, present, and my future; my realities and my dreams; ...
and the list goes on....