I believe there are no accidents. No matter how I take two steps backwards because of self-doubt and fear for every step towards manifesting the intention to study arts and conflict transformation, the sacred is always present to gently remind me that I am not alone.
During my ride to the embassy, I recalled my dream last month of the Hawaiian elder who I believed was also Cordilleran and what she said about many of them being in Switzerland. My wonderful new friend Erin who is a Filipina healer and ethnobotanist reminded me that in the Austronesian migration theory, the Hawaiians and Polynesians came through the Philippines prior to their settlement on their present islands. So yes we were once whole.
I shared this dream on my way to the embassy to Nay Angge and Helen, two elders from a peace camp I was part of last year to teach art and document the stories of the elders about peace. Helen, a Swiss Pastor shared that Datu Vic Saway of the Talaandig tribe in Mindanao told her that being in Switzerland was the same as being in Bukidnon - same soil and the same air we breathe.
The Alps and Mount Kitanglad in Bukidnon are the same.
Their drawings got me digging through my pile of journals.
Last night I chanced upon a dream dictionary which said that a mountain's ascension is masculine energy, intellect and power; while the mountain's descent is feminine energy on intuition and unconscious. Inside the mountain has to do with transformation.
All I could think of with this message was showing up in my life experience now which involves slowly letting go of my connection with someone I deeply care for but someone who is not healthy for me right now.
Perhaps being with men in general is so unhealthy lately.
Before I went home yesterday, I chanced upon my crush for 8 years who has all the great credentials of the "perfect guy." I wanted to engage myself further with a conversation as it was so tempting to share presence with someone spiritual and someone who you know won't-hurt-you-like-the-last-one-did...
...but I realized I need to stay away from men for awhile... maybe for now - maybe forever!
So tonight, I am taking the full moon eclipse as another trail marker on the path to self realization. This time its for self transformation from within by honoring the guidance of the sacred feminine that has always been present and constant ever since.